Damn I’m Depressed

Dealing with a depression diagnosis can be tough. If you’re interested in mental health, depression, or wellness you’ll love this post.

I have always considered myself to be a pretty happy person. As a child, I was always able to find the bright side of any situation that was keeping me down.

As I got older it seemed my mood and emotions were not my own anymore, I couldn’t find it within myself to be happy anymore.

My junior year of undergrad is when my issues came to a head. My parents split, my grandmother died, school was a struggle, and I was socially ousted by a group I thought were friends and sisters

The circumstances were dim but my best friend Harrison who encouraged me to seek help and fight to see the good in life again. I had never been to a therapist before, I was ignorant to why I would need one and how much it could help me. My university offered free sessions to students, so I signed up with a little push from Harry and my world was opened up. I had no idea I could feel a release from the burden of constantly having to appear strong and put together. I had been broke in a lot of ways but I started to piece my life back together and make it my own again.

When Harrison died, my world crumbled again. The first couple of months I cried every hour, I didn’t eat, my body hurt, my heart ached, and I was having severe panic attacks every day. The pain I experienced was like none I’d ever been through before. I couldn’t see the purpose or joy in life anymore.

Depression is weird. That’s an astute observation I know but I’m not speaking to rocket scientists here, (although some of you may be) I’m speaking to regular people who are processing trauma and coping. Depression for me meant losing the colors in my life. I was born an artistic soul with an imaginative mind. When I tasted a sweet for the first time pink stars danced behind my eyes as a savored my treat. Every monumental life juncture had been associated with a color after Harrison died there were none. I had danced with depression before but this felt like something else entirely. I never knew I could experience such despair.

I had wrestled with my mom and primary care doctor about seeing a psychiatrist. Although I had seen a therapist in the past, I saw no point in even trying. I had banished myself to a life of grey.

Moved by the symbolism of Harrison’s Birthday; I had gotten the courage to reactivate my Facebook. I read our old messages that were full of encouragement, wisdom, hope, and adoration for each other. Those messages also mapped out our vision of life together and although I had no power over those dreams diminishing. I could still be successful and live out the dreams I had for myself, and he had for me.

Not long after that when I scheduled my first psychiatry appointment and was formally diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. I am now coming to grips with the fact that I have depression. Every day is a new battle but I have so guardian angels on my side how could I not win.

 

-Shampaigne Graves, CPC Creator of The Healthy Shampy Blog (2)

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A vision in the making: May 2017 Vision Board

This blog is not simply a personal mental health journal but a recording of a dream in the making. These are my own words about my struggles and achievements after losing the love of my life. While building a brand, business, and finding myself again.

 

May 26, 2017

This blog is not simply a personal mental health journal but a recording of a dream in the making. These are my own words about my struggles and achievements after losing the love of my life. While building a brand, business, and finding myself again.

Vision Board Goals:

  1. Create a Youtube channel documenting opening my business as young black millennial.
  2. Gain a client base of inspired individuals who believe in our company’s vision on health.
  3. Quit my job in 3 months to a year. Juggle part-time entrepreneurship while working.
  4. WRITE MORE (articles, Harrison’s story, My story)
  5. Offer a guide on the ins and outs of starting a business for millennials who have no idea where to start.

Find time to travel, find time to paint, find time for photography. Be consistent with therapy/psychiatry. Be unashamed and open with struggles with mental health.

Reading these words almost a year later as I transfer my writing to a new medium is insightful. I believe that the most noble subject to study will always be one’s self. Often times when I am wrapped up in the grind of my day, I forget to think about how far I’ve come.

I have created my YouTube channel. Although I only have one video up, I am editing my second.

I’ve quit my job! You ever have a never-ending distaste for something that has been a part of the human experience for centuries? Well for me that thing is working for other people. More specifically having other people tell me what to do for less than $50 an hour. You know it’s funny how much clarity instructions and deadlines have when someone is paying me what my time is truly worth. In other words, I’ve known since I’ve started in the workforce that I was going to be my own boss.

The accomplishment I am most proud of is my writing. Taking the musing of an imaginative mind with an affinity towards complex diction to a larger platform on this blog has been a dream. I cannot wait to expand my writing portfolio with more published features and start to process of that novel.

 

-Shampaigne Graves, CPC Creator of The Healthy Shampy Blog (2)

 

Welcome to my New Blog!

The purpose of this blog is to bring humor, entertainment and a unique millennial perspective to the conversation on entrepreneurship, trailblazing and life purpose.

Welcome to the Healthy Shampy Blog. The purpose of this blog is to bring humor, entertainment and a unique millennial perspective to the conversation on entrepreneurship, trailblazing and life training.

I started this blog in May 2017 as a mental health journal after experiencing the loss of my best friend. Soon this simple blog chronicling my hectic, wild and unbelievable life, transformed into a vehicle that has allowed me to do influencer work with small businesses all over the country, launch my freelance writing career, and amplify my voice in the world.

My content is about the honest journey of taking the ultimate leap of faith and investing in yourself. Being a person who wants to live outside the box, and forge a path uniquely their own comes with tough obstacles. There will be issues such as self limiting beliefs, financial set backs and credibility challenges that will arise. Yet if you do the hard work of crafting a brand, finding a tribe and setting goals, your vision will actualize itself.

Join me as I continue to navigate life while building my brand and businesses. And while you’re here, enjoy lifestyle, travel and wellness posts. As well as authentic perspectives on the ups and downs of being a millennial entrepreneur and trailblazer.

 

-Shampaigne Graves, CPC Creator of The Healthy Shampy Blog (2)