Shacking is the New Marriage: An expose on Millennial Adulting

I often cite the professional titles I hold as a badge of honor. Author, blogger, coach, business owner I’d list them all if I knew anyone would actually stick around to actually listen; but there is one title that I don’t boast as much, shacker.

I have been living with my boyfriend for about three years now and I have no plans on making the union official in the eyes of the government. I am not the only one who holds the title, in fact, according to statistics I am a product of my generation. In an article published by the Atlantic entitled The Marriage Problem, the author states that “young people are declining to marry while older people are reaping its benefits (Alice G. Walton).” Which is ironic to my particular situation given that my boyfriend is a Gen Y’er and my millennial ass isn’t paying a bill in the house.

Other more startling articles like, Why 25% of Millennials will Never get Married cite factors like our dismal pay rates, and lack of financial security as the reason why marriage is off the table for young people like myself.

No matter the statistics, and intrusivities that the thought of cohabiting produces, I have actually put a lot of thought into my living arrangement and it is, in fact, the most adult decision I’ve made in life so far. Including being a business owner.

Before I slowly but surely moved all my things into B’s place I lived with my mom in a cozy townhouse. I was working multiple menial jobs and had no real life direction. Being with someone who was not only successful in their own right but wanted to mentor me to be as well was exactly what I needed at the time.

Soon we both found ourselves turning to each other for counsel on major career and life decisions, introducing each other to the same friends and family we said we never would and spending both weekdays and weekends with each other. All while constantly wrestling with the idea of marriage and how it would fit into the dynamics of our odd little relationship.

Ultimately, we decided that we didn’t need that title between us to confirm our bond. Also, it wasn’t practical. He had been married before and I had decided to dedicate my life to building my career. A very conscious choice that I made taking into account the societal pressures I would face on this journey that would apparently “not keep me warm at night.” (whatever the hell that means).

Kids aren’t on the table of us either. He has his own and I’m of the mindset that as much as we try to be superwomen, sometimes we can’t have it all. I have chosen to nurture the relationships I have with my friends, and family. And ultimately, although I truly admire those sheroes who make those motherly sacrifices, I realized over time that I wouldn’t be very happy making them in any space of my life (Nope not gonna grow to be more patient over time, it’s actually gotten worse as I age).

So I shack. It’s the new millennial marriage anyways right?! This odd blend of modeling the dynamics of our parents and grandparents while skipping the weight of responsibility may be frowned upon by many. However, with a divorce rate that has been on a steady incline since the 1960s, it’s not the worse way to commit to the one you love.

 

-Shampaigne Graves, CPC Creator of The Healthy Shampy Blog (2)

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Millennial Maven: Dashley Wilson

Dashley Wilson has used her legacy of creativity to craft her digital media empire. Wilson brings her unique eye and perspective to all the artistic projects she undertakes as a production coordinator, photographer and magazine editor.

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A woman of many titles, Dashley isn’t afraid to put in the work to make her visions successful. When asked what sweat equity she has invested her career, Wilson stated that in addition to clocking in an average of 80 hours per week and working on personal development skills, she also utilizes her platform to bring awareness to mental health issues.

Wilson has battled with her mental health for most of her life but she firmly believes that her diagnoses don’t define her trajectory.

“I’ve learned how to let trauma roll off of me. I’ve learned how not to let trauma become who I am.” – Dashley Wilson, Digital Dashh Magazine

 

A belief that shines through in her work for her magazine, Digital Dashh. Dashley not only addresses her own battle through thought-provoking and honest articles on the subject but through her photography work for the magazine of which she completes by herself. Her dad passed on the passion for capturing life through a lens, and she has made it her mission to carry on his legacy through the love they both shared for the craft.

 

“I’m challenging the norm. I want to remind people that the possibilities are endless in life.” – Dashley Wilson, Digital Dashh Magazine

Dashley is a true maven, who is creating her own lane through her unique life experience. Having always been a bright child, she recalls being invited to advanced photography courses in her adolescence. Traveling, culture, and diversity were all stables in her childhood; allowing Wilson to create extraordinary vision through the stories she tells on Digital Dashh. Dashley’s hopes are to educate and inspire the world through her career endeavors.

 

To learn more about Dashley Willson , or her magazine, Digital Dashh follow her on Instagram @digitaldashh and email me at healthyshampy@gmail.com to become my next Millennial Maven.

-Shampaigne Graves, CPC Creator of The Healthy Shampy Blog (2)

 

 

5 Ways to Stay Productive During a Flight

Transitioning from part time entrepreneurship to a full time lifestyle has been a challenging change of pace. It’s especially difficult when you add a hefty travel schedule to the mix. If you’ve ever wondered how traveling consultants always manage to stay “on” even while traveling, this is a great read for you.

Clean up your social media profiles. According to a study conducted by statista.com, as of 2017 every internet user has on average 7.6 social media accounts. With so many profiles to juggle it’s hard to keep consistent information across all platforms at all times. Use this downtime to update vital information such as new jobs, change of location and business emails.

Read that article

When I’m home, I’m often too busy to read a lot of the articles I come across that catch my eye. I always bookmark the sites so that I can catch up during my flights. As a life coach, it is vital that I research in order to give my clients the best results possible. Which means reading articles, books, and blogs about the topics that matters to my student and health coaching clients.

Fill out your agenda. If you for some god awful reason are stuck on a flight with no WiFi; pull out your old school agenda and plan out your month. If you’re like me, your agenda has goal setting and accountability tasks included that you never quite get around to doing. Use your downtime on your flight to finally fill that thing out! Not only will you feel instantly efficient but you’ll actually be able to track your progress to look back on periodically throughout the year.

Take a nap

I know this may not seem like a productive activity to the masses but napping is important and can help you complete tasks thoroughly and efficiently. As a self employed person you’re juggling many hats and most likely barely have enough time to accommodate your current sleep schedule. Take a shot of dream water, put on your eye mask and snooze away sweetheart. You deserve those zzz’s!

Edit photos through the apps on your phone. My favorite photo editing apps are Plann and Unfold. Being that I juggle my Influencer work with my coaching, speaking and writing opportunities; if I’m not careful I can easily fall behind with my posting schedule. I often use my time during flights to edit photos from my camera roll in mass. This cuts down my workload later and allows me to focus on my other endeavors.

What are some ways you stay productive during travel? Comment under the post and give me your best tips.

 

-Shampaigne Graves, CPC Creator of The Healthy Shampy Blog (2)

3 Ways to Stay Consistent with Health Goals as a Traveling Freelancer

I’m currently enrolled in an accelerated freelance writing course that teaches amateur writers the tools that seasoned authors use to maintain a successful and consistent career as a free lance writer.

Similar to other online courses and seminars, my program began with a pros and cons list of being a freelancer.
Besides the most obvious negative aspect of non consistent pay; the development of unhealthy practices was a prominent concern that I noticed.

With countless hours in front of a computer screen, and no real reason to leave your home, apartment, or pajama bottoms; being a free lancer is the sedentary career your health teacher warned you about.

Growing up in a health conscious family, and having an education in exercise science doesn’t exactly make you a health nut. I have never attempted whole 30 because I’m absolutely positive my sugar withdrawals would be similar to those of a recovering cocaine addict. I live on a steady wardrobe of spandex, cotton and polyester; and my only motivation to workout is so that I can shimmy my ass into the expensive party dresses I wear out on special occasions.

Those aren’t my only motivations. Maintaining the credibility of being a health and fitness coach is also a concern. However the afore mentioned drivers are the most authentic.

Needless to say, I too struggle with making the best choices for my personal wellness. With a heavy travel schedule, completely remote work load and limited availability of nutritiously dense options while traveling; I have to make conscious decisions to make my health and fitness a priority.

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Try some hotel yoga. I wrestle with lower back pain from wild sleeping, fully booked flights, and sleeping away from home. My morning yoga sessions help to relieve the pain associated with my aching spine. These sessions also help me to center myself and focus on the beauty and excitement of the day. Being able to travel the world, complete passion filled work and amplify my voice in the world is a privilege I never want to take for granted. Taking time to honor the moment each morning through yoga provides me with mindful space that is so needed in my day.

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Go vegetarian. I practice intuitive eating. Which means that I follow my body’s natural rhythm and listen to my gut (no pun) when it comes to what and how much I can eat. A practice that really helps me to stay on track during the week or while traveling is to stick to a vegetarian or vegan diet during the day. I give myself a break at dinner time however I usually end up sticking with a mostly veggie rich meal and lean protein for dinner. I still indulge, however I find that I do so less often when practicing eating intuitively.

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Select a hotel with a wellness center. Traveling and vacation seem to go hand in hand. While in a new city, we often want to just forget about our regimes, routines, and schedules. By making sure that there is a fitness facility in whatever hotel we select, I eliminate the excuse of not having anywhere to workout. Working out in an on-site gym is also a nice change in routine with my fitness regime. I usually complete my workouts at home with guided training videos. I detest the pomp, frills and showmanship of the gym crowd so being able to get a great workout at home is really important to me. However, it is nice to mix up my body weight training with weights at the gym. Also being able to use the elliptical for cardio days is priceless when I have back to back coaching sessions scheduled but still need to squeeze in a quick workout. But the best part about training in a hotel gym is that it is almost always empty. With most hotel guests in vacation mode, and not concerned with days off from their wellness routines, hotel fitness accommodations are hardly ever utilized.

Dedicating space in your schedule for health and fitness regimes is difficult especially as a traveling freelancer. Although it is not impossible. By implementing small lifestyle changes, you can achieve big results in finding the wellness practices that fit into your life.

 

-Shampaigne Graves, CPC Creator of The Healthy Shampy Blog (2)

A vision in the making: May 2017 Vision Board

 

May 26, 2017

This blog is not simply a personal mental health journal but a recording of a dream in the making. These are my own words about my struggles and achievements after losing the love of my life. While building a brand, business, and finding myself again.

Vision Board Goals:

  1. Create a Youtube channel documenting opening my business as young black millennial.
  2. Gain a client base of inspired individuals who believe in our company’s vision on health.
  3. Quit my job in 3 months to a year. Juggle part-time entrepreneurship while working.
  4. WRITE MORE (articles, Harrison’s story, My story)
  5. Offer a guide on the ins and outs of starting a business for millennials who have no idea where to start.

Find time to travel, find time to paint, find time for photography. Be consistent with therapy/psychiatry. Be unashamed and open with struggles with mental health.

Reading these words almost a year later as I transfer my writing to a new medium is insightful. I believe that the most noble subject to study will always be one’s self. Often times when I am wrapped up in the grind of my day, I forget to think about how far I’ve come.

I have created my YouTube channel. Although I only have one video up, I am editing my second.

I’ve quit my job! You ever have a never-ending distaste for something that has been a part of the human experience for centuries? Well for me that thing is working for other people. More specifically having other people tell me what to do for less than $50 an hour. You know it’s funny how much clarity instructions and deadlines have when someone is paying me what my time is truly worth. In other words, I’ve known since I’ve started in the workforce that I was going to be my own boss.

The accomplishment I am most proud of is my writing. Taking the musing of an imaginative mind with an affinity towards complex diction to a larger platform on this blog has been a dream. I cannot wait to expand my writing portfolio with more published features and start to process of that novel.

 

-Shampaigne Graves, CPC Creator of The Healthy Shampy Blog (2)